colloquial irritants #1

Being somewhat a didactic semantic crank, the three readers of this blog shall not be surprised certain phrases used colloquially irritate the fuck out of me. (<<--- this one is acceptable, for the moment.) To whit, "hang on" and "hold, please." [NB: elliott was kept on hold for three hours today while trying to register for tennis.]

The phrases are not only rude, they are also inaccurate: to what, precisely am I to "hang" off or "hold" onto? A monkey bar? My breath?

Rather paints the picture of freezing suddenly in mid-air which I would do, quite gladly, if so capable (but probably not at the request of whomever would keep me listening to muzak).

What, I ask, is wrong with "Would you mind waiting, please?". Polite. Gentle. Makes one almost content to be listening to muzak as the query offers a feeling of providing largesse : "But of course I shall hold for you, do you that boon, be so kinda as to make your day by waiting for you to scurry about relishing doing my business ... "

Note, as well, the use of the word "would" over "could" or "can" — but that is a topic for another post.

sigh

i still do not have a new bike. It is stunningly perfect bike weather and I am without such wheels.

sigh


Insurance papers were sent back to the company and we hope, hope, all will be ticketyboo but my experience so far does not bode well.
First time I've ever had to deal with insurance companies and am unimpressed.
I have scheduled my bike separately for years and suddenly (oops!) they no longer have any of the documentation on the bike I sent to them.
It is all seeming very much a scam.
However! am reserving final judgement until we see what is revealed in coming days.

sigh

guesswhorushedhometobeinbedatreasonablehourandisstillnotsleeping

Ahhh. insomnia. the bread-and-butter of silly online toys (also chicken pox, as proven last summer). Oddly enough, I get Ashley Judd all the time. Like when standing in line at the diner for a banana/vanilla shake at 4 a.m.



Who I look like now, early morning in the Sahara with a cold nose ...



Program seems seems to match primarily on hairstyle. But it's kinda right about Kirsten Dunst and me, what with our relatively similar cultural heritage. But I've got a way cooler nose.

Who I looked like then ...



Who I look like when all proper ...



wow! Kate Winslet! I'm gobsmacked.

now. time to invite some amusement over.

alums

brilliant to see fellow actor-sorts from high school are putting their considerable talents to good use. I'm going to do the holy war dance party dance whenever washing dishes from now on.


unhuh.


yeah.


unhuh.


oww!

plastic shame

i have a bizarre addiction to evian water.
Some say they can taste no difference between the water offerings on the market; obviously these people have dead tastebuds (not that mine are particularly sensitive). Evian produces what must be the best tasting water on the market — it is invigorating, clean, fresh and without bitter or acrid elements. It is almsot like watered spring.
Despite my desire to not buy bottled water I find myself craving the taste of evian every so often. Ok, more often than not but I deny myself the grotesque luxury because buying water is ludicrous. Rather, we should be forcing "them" to protect Canada's water rights and, most importantly, to create and maintain potable water sources for all on this planet.
Further, I have these overwhelming panics about the amount of plastic in the world. Almost daily now I will find myself beginning to calculate the amount of plastic one person discards in a day and panic sets in. Gladly, I am not the only person so concerned.
She's impressive and new sage, methinks.