The Materialist: Old skool warmth

I live in a 1930s concrete three-storey walk-up in the downtown core with the ubiquitous hot water radiators which I alternately love and loathe — depending on the season. 

During summer they make great plant/phone/book shelves. During winter they gurgle, and either pump out to much or too little heat. To whit, two nights ago I froze as the guys who live below me had not had their radiators bled and the heat wasn't making it up to my floor. Last night, I sweat buckets whether under my duvet or not — yet when I opened the windows my toes froze.

But I am thinking it is better to be a bit cool than sweaty and the fresh (downtown) air is good for me so am now in the market for a rubber hot water bottle — which, I have found out, was patented by Croatian inventor Slavoljub Eduard Penklala (1871-1922). (He also helped invent the first mechanical pencil and solid-ink fountain pen and had a mighty cool first name.)

Cashmere water bottle hoodie

So now thoughts turn to the hot-water bottle cover I will need, as I refuse to go the towel-wrap route which ends in me suffocated and trusssed in the towel by morning. I am thinking of something along the vein of the luxurious-looking, quilted, satin cover found in the movie Gosford Park handed by Clive Owen's character to Kelly Macdonald's. But I cannot find a version like it. ;-(


For $120, something more casual in style but no less luxurious can be had in this offering from The Cashmere Shop in Toronto which looks like a tuque, though Alison Currie, the owner of the store, says others have thought it a dog coat or small turtleneck. 

She swears by hers, insisting the cover will last "indefinitely" if washed by hand — and it doesn't need washing that often. And she says that the knitters who work for her in Mongolia, where her dad now lives, are all paid fair wages adjusted frequently for that country's rising inflation.


• Cashmere hot water bottle cover, $120 CDN, available in pale pink, blue, charcoal and winter white @ The Cashmere Shop, 24 Bellair St., Toronto, 416.925.0831

The Materialist: On being an aunt

Totspot hands-free baby care light

So, I am now an aunt — albeit not biologically.


My dearest friend, whom I've known since I was 14, gave birth three weeks ago. I was enlisted to deal with their fussy dog during her labour, was the third person to hold the unwashed baby (after mom, dad and sundry hospital staff) and have already lost a sweater to baby puke and other digestive juices. I am surprisingly still enamoured with the itsy bitsy tyke.


That I am being introduced already as Aunt and have been dragged to some truly heinous baby stores (why are they either gorgeous or pits of chaos?) makes the moniker seem apt. 


And being an aunt of this sort has its advantages. Since you already saw the mother almost every day before, this does not change much during the pregnancy and after birth. This means you get indoctrinated into the world of baby stuff and baby things and baby concerns and all the 'fun' mum stuff that goes along with the whole baby-getting process.


No, I shan't give you gory details.


I did however discover that a good thing to have would be a light that was not too bright for breastfeeding during the wee hours of the morning. We went hunting for one the other day, encountering one of those stores of chaos, with no luck. 


Being The Materialist, however, I found one for my friend. 

Totspot light w. lanyard

It's called the Totspot and is made by Goo Goo baby, a Calgary-based company dealing in non-toxic, "innovative" (their word) baby-centred gear. The LED light clips to anything up to an inch thick and is supposed to produce a light that won't "create night-blindness."


Well, ummm... I do not think that is what they mean, as night blindness is generally a symptom of eye disease making seeing in any low-light impossible. Glad the light does not permanently damage the eye but what I think they meant is the light is not very bright, and shall let your eyes remain adjusted to the dark while providing enough light to not bump into things and see your baby's face and encourage the all-important latching — which, I've discovered, can be an ordeal.


I'd post a photo of the baby but am not sure mom would be so pleased with such public an outing just yet. I will tell you he is very sweet and obviously brilliant.


• Totspot, $9.99 excl. GST, from Goo Goo Baby, or call 1-800-GOO-1646


Update: Turns out my friend does not want something that clips to her shirt or other things, but specifically requires  a dim, frog-shaped lamp. Shaped as frog, not painted with frog. I kid you not. Shades of her wedding are returning to haunt me ... If you have suggestions please email me at kendemann@thecitizen.canwest.com

what one does when waiting for friend to show up

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

a little hero worship

Chrissie Hynde is so the man.

From their new album —



And a longtime favourite below.

The Materialist: GNAP! GNAP

Teehee.

So despite my recent rants about having too much stuff and a vehement pledge to not accumulate more, I admit to a fanciful need to own this shirt. Surely I am not the only person subjected to early French Immersion who has a fascination with Les Schtroumpfs, or the Smurfs to all you who only found out about them from the English TV cartoon.

Smurf Attack t-shirt from Split Reason

I will forever It is due to the large, hardcover copies of Les Schtroumps read in the bibliothéque during grade 1 that words such as "ouf!" and "gnap" entered my lexicon.

And what's not to love about the little blue guys with white caps who live in toadstools, with their easily identifiable trades/characters. Architect and painter smurf were my favourites — though I must admit to a certain fascination for the evil wizard Gargamel and his cat Azrael (how do I remember their names and not that of the people I met last night?).

A list of the Smurf characters are available here.

Smurf ATTACK

In honour of the 50th birthday of Les Schtroumpfs this week, this shirt offered at Split Reason has a montage of Smurfs climbing with destruction in mind; They're holding crossbows, bombs, machine guns, etc. Are they trying to cut your throat or is full decapitation on the agenda? Not very Smurfy in attitude but, that only adds to the shirt's charm. Further, that the drawings are not too large makes the Smurfs appear to be more decorative patterns than obnoxious cartoon declaration. (Blown up picture of image below)
Yea, I want one.

Hey - does anyone have know in which book it is revealed there are Northern and Southern Smurfs and they cannot agree on whether the word Smurf should be used as a noun or a verb? Send me an email if you do, please: wrygrinn@gmail.com

discombobulated

Fell asleep at 6 p.m. tonight after long election day and unhappy results. Woke up at about 10 p.m. thinking it must be at least 4 a.m. ..

Am now seriously messed up; unable to sleep and unable to be coherent. The only thing to do, obviously, is find a literal interpretation of A-HA's 80s smash hit Take On Me (with the ever-delish Morten Harket).

I'm fairly convinced one's sexual preferences are formed whenever one's sexual awakening occurs. This is not based on any rigorous scientific evidence but began to percolate after my father told me he finds gold lamé very very sexy ... I will always have a certain thing for indie-ihs New Wave men. Eyeliner optional.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

There are lots of reasons I wish I lived in the UK — carpets in unheated bathrooms aside. Now, I wish I lived in the UK and got the Daily Mail for the included iSelect Bowie CD, a selection of his songs picked for his continued interest in them





Certain Bowie songs will never bore me but I can imagine how dull they might become to someone performing them seemingly incessantly. I have been known to tire of an article in a day or a theatrical performance after four weeks. Bowie is not only inherently sexy but also stalwart.

Seems Virgin will be releasing the iSelect Bowie recording on Oct. 14. Where an at what cost is unknown. Wonder if there will be notes as to why the songs have endured for him ....

Bowie's picks:

• Life On Mars
• Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing
• The Bewlay Brothers
• Lady Grinning Soul
• Win
• Some Are
• Teenage wildlife
• Repetition
• Fantastic voyage  
• Loving the alien 
• Time will crawl
  
• Hang on to yourself

Ah Bowie. My fascination began as a teen in a small Mtl club in the late 80s when he showed up, the doors were locked and he just played. Stunning. Arresting. Another level of sexual maturation occurred watching him. I have no idea how I ended up in that club but pleased I remain for being there.
Oddly, a colleague swears she  has no knowledge and no interest in any Bowie. This despite growing up precisely in his heyday. My serenade is not convincing her, either. She remains a fan of Reba — whoever she may be.

invitation protocol

When did it became appropriate to ask someone if they want to attend your wedding before considering sending them an invitation — particularly, when the query comes a week before the actual event? Is not the purpose of an invitation to express a desire for them to attend; the other option — to decide if you like them if they like you — reeks of junior high. No wonder so many marriages fail if this is now considered de rigueur for weddings.

Such will often engender a No from me; either you want me to attend or not. If the person being asked is known so little their desire vis-a-vis the celebration is a mystery, seems the answer would be to not invite and to set aside the passive aggressive behaviour. Or, to grow a pair and own to a desire to have them attend. Surely a lack of RSVP won't be so emotionally crippling ...




Sometimes, I wonder how I happened to be born related to these people.

[Ed's Update: Seems the 'invite' was made so an oh-so-innocent statement could be made to pater I *had* been invited. Shockingly, the inviter had no clue we a) talk and b) have no need to be anything but frank with each other. Oh, the drama. There is a reason I prefer to opt out. ]

"oooooh .... gotta go"

"So what does it feel like?"
"well, you don't get menstrual cramps so you won't know..."
"...well, I've had some ..."
"... but, like really really really bad cramps with someone scraping your cervix at the same time."
"ooh sounds bad."
"yeah. Ok. Gotta go."

L. is in EARLY LABOUR! There is nothing better than asking your friend what contractions feel like when she is having one. Ahhhh I'm lovely.

She is going to hate me for posting this but I am über excited that my bosomedest buddy is about to become a mom and, given she was trying to get to sleep and explicitly told me in my call from the office she did NOT want to be made excited, I curtailed my own. Sides, this is also payback for not letting me in the labour room — I am not sure why she is so worried about anyone seeing her all stretched out and sweaty.  And what does it matter if she doesn't even want her husband there? I have known her for longer, anyway ....

*teehee*

*jump jump*

*jump*

I'm grinning like a fool.

[Ed's update: Gryffudd was born sans medicaments, and L. was home hours later, utterly befuddling me when I opened the door. She looked radiant, exhausted but beautiful. Gryff was - Small, beautiful, rodent-like as babies are, and perfect. I was stunned by Laura's ability to sit down and chat. She made me swear to never ever let her give birth again without drugs. Her husband was in awe of her, and full of tears or pride and joy and  ... empathy.
Am also pleased to report the dog seems to not be interested in eating the baby. Oh, and if anyone cares, the midwives rocked the house. ]

Palin debate flow chart

I fell asleep awkwardly while trying to watch the debates last night and have yet to actually become fully informed. (All you who were to provide précis did not — your bonuses this year shall reflect my disappointment.)

This bit of amusement from our friends south of the 49th is posted as foil to demands for informed analysis as, frankly, I am currently uninformed.