Settlers of Catan should always be played in a castle, by feudal lords who must stake their actual goods on the game. Sadly, such is not the case for the Catan World Championship Games, to be held Sept. 17 to 20, 2010 in Leibertingen, Germany.
My next question: where are the North American qualifying events to be held?
In what was obviously more than a single bad day, Corinne Maier has written a book called No Kids: or 40 reasons for not having children which has become a bestseller in her native France.
I do not need convincing. In my 30s, I do not have children and live a pretty "juvenile" life in many ways with no major possessions and no pressures to acquire more. A lot of my work is self-generated so I can - in many ways - set my own hours. A Tuesday night of tequila drinking can be a very, very real possibility, therefore.
I could have had children. There have been many instances — with varying degrees of seriousness — when the opportunity, even very voluble attempts at convincing, have arisen. If I had wanted them, it would have been easily accomplished. Rather, not having children has consumed a lot of active time and effort.
This preference exists not, really, for reasons of sleeping in, not worrying about feeding anyone else or dealing - necessarily - with their whims, caprices and violent green poo. (Though the lack of this I enjoy.)
Rather, it touches on something Naomi Klein wrote about in her book Misconceptions and that I see played out around me every day; that a woman, once a mother, loses everything about her that makes her a human and a person. She becomes the de facto sole caregiver — not really through some biological imperative but through the frank lazy-arsedness of her partner and a societal acceptance of this as norm.
With children, gone is the time for personal growth, invention or contemplation. Whatever Woolf-and-her-maids had to say.
Despite exhortations of equality, when it comes to rearing, men still tend to opt out (I'm assuming a generic heterosexuality here, as that would be my situation). Note the oft-used term "helping out with the baby/house/etc." The assumption inherent is that the man does not have responsibility therein, and that it is some altruistic largesse that has them give of their time to "assist" in the holding of the baby so the mother can have her first shower of the week.
It is norm to watch men stroll out of their homes for their evenings with friends/sports/gym, leaving a harried mom at home after work, with children demanding time, homework help, dinner to debate it with you. Sure, there are different situations, but they are exceedingly rare.
I'm having none of that poor life. My life, my mind, my curiosity are as important as any other person's and I will not have it diminished through the addition of a child to my life, no matter how compelling a partner — or biologic imperative (*ahem*) — might be.
I will think and learn and do things and I will, also, not bring a child into the world if they will be short-changed by me in my pursuit of life.
Not that I am not intrigued. I've never given birth and with one life to live, it is quite an experience to have. Children are fun and intriguing; the sheer hard, physical toil of caring for one is not that which is scary. What remains terrifying is being practically left with nothing to do but child rearing.
So until that time I am willing to dedicate the vast majority of my existence to someone else, to make them my ultimate priority, over and above my intellectual and physical curiosity, I will not do it. For even if there is a partner, I will assume they will be no real help, at all or that society will undermine them — or even my own conditioning.
So Corrine, you need not protest so much. The women who do not want children are not really turned off by messy diapers, years of sleepless nights, vomit or whatever public and private trauma your teens bring you — it is the loss of themselves. And those women who poo-pooh such very real and intrinsic losses as bagatelles to dirty diapers are in a fantasy land you will never reach.
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