Girding self to become a hero, like this chap

My grandmother insists her dial-up connection to an ISP — which is no longer the ISP she thinks it is — works well.

But she cannot fathom how it works. Nor did she have any clue she had a modem, just that things were broken, leading to my introduction to the ancient Frankenstein of a system my mother foisted on her (at ridiculous cost for such an out-dated set-up).

Some day, I shall have the strength to get her DSL, Wi-Fi and an Apple laptop. Some day.

If I prove courageous enough.

"Some in the kingdom thought the cause of the darkness must be the Router. Little was known of the Router, legend told it had been installed behind the recliner long ago by a shadowy organization known as Comcast. Others in the kingdom believed it was brought by a distant cousin many feasts ago. Concluding the trouble must lie deep within the microchips, the people of 276 Fernadale Street did despair and resign themselves to defeat.
But with the dawn of the feast of Christmas did a beacon of hope manifest itself upon the inky horizon. Riding in upon a teal Ford Focus came a great warrior, a suitor of the gentlefolks’ granddaughter. Word had spread through the kingdom that this warrior worked with computers and perhaps even knew the true nature of the Router."

From McSweeney's: In which I fix my girlfriend's grandparents' Wi-Fi and am hailed as a conquering hero

emotional online journalism

[Comment From Rich Rich : ] I've heard if people can't find what they are looking for in 3 clicks they get frustrated. True?

Thursday February 23, 2012 1:12 Rich

1:13 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99: Hi Rich. 3 click rule is probably too much. emotion unfolds at a millisecond level..people who do 3 clicks are good sports!

1:14 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99: emotional impact of website begins to unfold in first 50 milliseconds or so even prior to conscious awareness...that is the POWER of emotion in driving behavior.

[Comment From KEE  : ] You mentioned packaging: how have you found readers feel about "related Links" immediately accessible/packaged with each story. Are they popular? Or do they prefer hunting for related or background information? (the three clicks mentioned)

1:16 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99: Related link is absolutely critical to brain friendly web design. this mirrors how memory is structured in the brain. 

...

Comment From Suzanne Suzanne : ]  Curious about your research that talks about category clustering and grouping by topics. I've heard the argument from companies like Outbrain that if you give a reader unrelated headlines at the end of the story, they're more likely to click because their brain feels satisfied with the topic they just read and want to move on. Thoughts?

1:21 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99: I have heard rumblings like this but in my opinion there is no scientific validity to that argument.
...

[Comment From Lindsay Lindsay : ] Hi Paul! Are there specific on page design elements that encourage better processing and/or memory?

Thursday February 23, 2012 1:28 Lindsay

1:29 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99: Hi Lindsay Narrative writing style is CRITICAL! our brains are hard wired to process stories. we also suspect grouping page elements by motivationally meaningful categories...labels that actually mean something to the readers is important...more to come in May after experiment.
....

1:49 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99: Both positive and negative emotional experience can generate clicks so it isn't as simple as saying make people "happy" and they will stay on the site longer.

1:50 Paul Bolls @mediabrain99:  the key is to produce motivationally relevant content for your targeted audience and they will stay on site longer. In other words arousal likely trumps the valence, positive/negative, of emotional experience. by the way attention and memory is most influenced by arousal rather than valence or specific moods evoked by content.

From Poynter live chat: How does the brain perceive and process news online? w/ Paul Bolls, associate director and co-director of the Psychological Research on Information and Media Effects Lab at the University of Missouri’s School of Journalism.

reminder

Shout out of the day

... goes to Kessels Upholstery who turned a $2,500 job of re-upholstering my massive sofa into a $400 job with some careful planning.

Instead of re-upholstering the entire, massive sofa — which I am loathe to chuck due to environmental pangs and that it is so darn comfortable — they shall mend the tears, create arm caps, all while using fabric from the back of the sofa.

"Is the sofa against a wall?" he asked on the phone. "Well, since it is black cotton, why don't we just use the fabric from the back, cover the arms and fix the cushion. Then we could just use some black canvas on the back. The colour will not be perfect on the arms as it will be a bit darker, but it is black and may not make a huge difference."

That would cost about $300 an arm, $75 for the cushion.

"But we could make it even less expensive," he said [I think his name was Brandon. Brendan? Mike?] to my already overjoyed ears. "We could simply hand stitch the tears, create arm caps for the arms and fix the cushion. That would cost about $75 an arm."

They also include pick up and delivery.

Even up a 1920s, narrow-staired, three-storey walk-up.

And my grandfather used them exclusively for anything my grandparents needed done around the house. Somehow, that makes me a titch weepy. And content.

Kessels Upholstery: 613.224.2150

Bill C-30

"Canadians aren't that stupid. And thank God." — Rick Mercer

today's quote

Sometimes your code is not just about trying to solve a problem,
it’s trying to solve a problem using your personality.
— Kroc Camen

Are you as frightened as Harper wants you to be?

Am really, really hoping we Canadians are not as gullible as Harper believes us.

He removed the long-form census and gun registry because they "invade Canadians' privacy," but yesterday introduced the Lawful Access Act (Bill C-30) to give police the right to snoop on all of our online and electronic activities, existence, etc. without any just cause.

As Vic Toews said on the CBC this morning, they "need" the new bill because it is "really, really, really hard to get a warrant."

There is a reason for that. Judges require law enforcement and judiciary to provide evidence supporting such invasion of privacy according to legal principle of what is "reasonable," balanced against the rights of citizens to live freely in a democratic society. To whit, they protect the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

When Toews' bill produced a lot of justified flack, Toews immediately (within two hours) renamed it   "Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act," despite the bill nowhere asserting a word about predators, children, pedophiles, etc. (oh, except that one mention in the new title)

The Materialist: Your bottle opener is ringing

(Check email, call office, open beer)(Intoxicase) = the perfect phone for beer drinkers

Oh, Gilad, Oli and Gil, how cunning were you to put into practise one of those silly discussions that happen every day between friends.

"Dude, where is the bottle opener."
"Dunno. Somewhere over there."
"Yo! I can open it with me teeth!"
"Don't do that. it's not here. Did you chuck it in the lake?"
"Na man. Look there. In the bags."
"I can open it with my toes! I can open it with my nose!"
"Stop playing Angry Birds on your iPhone and help me look. Who does not pack at least three bottle openers on a camping trip... Where the fuck is the flashlight?"
"Wait .... wait ... almost got this ...  "
"Let's just break the tops off the bottles, we can drink around the glass."
"I'm going to text someone to bring us an opener. This is stupid."

it is *not* new

"We need to do something that is not all the noise."

I remember this being the line taken among effective web designers in 1991.

sigh.

Valentine's Dilemma

from xkcd

censorship is bad

from XKCD

The Materialist: S O L D

RCA wall charger

Cable clutter irritates me more than is rational.

Thank you Apartment Therapy for leading me to this gorgeous wall outlet with USB charging.

Newer Technology® Power2u AC/USB Wall Outlet

You heard me. Purrrrrrrr.

That's right: no more bulky Apple plugs, just stick your USB right into the wall and charge away contentedly.

Ahhhhhh, streamlining.

This Newer Technology® Power2U™ AC/USB Wall Outlet sells for $27.99 and involves rewiring your outlet, instructions available at above link. 

The process seems relatively painless. 


However, if you are unwilling to fondle the wires in your wall, the RCA Wall Plate charger option offers two USB slots and is, itself, plug ang play. 


It does stick out from the wall slightly, though apartment therapy has a few more streamlined suggestions (and instructions for toying with those wires). Happy Thursday, to me.

For Valentine's

red heart felt pebbles

Am feeling oddly compelled by Valentine's Day this year. (Yes, I am actually sending out cards, shocker of shocks).

Must admit, this penchant began months ago when I saw these charming felted hearts from Ottawa-based SewnNatural on Etsy.

I bought them, even though I loathe things with no purpose.


Despite this, they did not disappoint. More, knowing i have their textured loveliness about makes me grin, even now.


And here are some more Etsy Valentine's day Ideas. But me? I'll just take some flowers please (big, pink 'cause why not) as per usual. ;-)

For Gryff (and Declan)

And just in case Gryff has not seen it yet here is the friendly fox video link.



And this is for me and my insomniac ways:

'nuff said

 

Apparently Pet Acoustics also offers relaxation music for you and your dog, your kid and your dog, or you and your horse. 

I jest not. 

The Materialist: Maybe

Crosley Radio's iSolo Radio with Dock

So chic and so obnoxiously hipster-y (It gets worse below) and yes, I do want one.

Maybe.

Fab says this is an alarm clock, but does not provide very pertinent information about the product. The manufacturer Crosley Radio provides spec details, FAQs and even a manual for each item but nowhere mentions an alarm.


Does it have an alarm, people. 

Libraries are still better

Flavorwire (missing the u) has done a little homage to the 20 most beautiful bookstores of the world in the age of eBooks and Amazon.

But they forgot about the library. My faves are still those at Cambridge (sorry Sorbonne, Oxford).

And my fave Ottawa booksore remains Perfect Books, where the staff have pithy recommendations across genres and they always have Proust on the shelves.

Livrario Lello, Porto, Portugal

Ferris Bueller sells out

We always knew he would.


Man. When did we get so OLD.  

The Materialist: Relax. Flu season is upon us.

I have never ever had a flu shot.

Unlike my schtick-position of never having tried (illegal) drugs, my shunning of the serum was originally bourne of never having caught the flu. And being a bit lazy with my own health.

The flu was eventually caught, leading to what has since been dubbed my most ignominious-moment-ever. But then I was put no beta blockers to try to treat my frequent migraines, making the flu shot no longer an option.

The lack of flu shot does not guarantee I will get the flu, i shall have you know. And I do little beyond the basic healthful basics to stop myself from catching it.

Germaphobe, I am not.

This may explain why these Infectious Disease stress balls seem so charming, though Think Geek seems to believe the germaphobes will be most entertained by them. But I wonder: would germaphobes even recognize an infectious disease at that small scale? Is a germaphobe the kind of person who researches diseases to the level of examining them under microscopes OR are they the sort to avoid any and all contacts with "germs" and other nasties. One could imagine a munchausen sufferer might, but others? I dunno.